Proposals can be enough of a nerve-racking experience, but things get even more stressful when you throw in the matter of the perfect engagement ring.

On Reddit, one woman sought the advice of strangers after she found out her boyfriend was planning to propose in a way that left her riddled with uncertainty: He was going to give her a ring he had originally picked out for his ex-girlfriend.

The woman explained to Reddit users that her boyfriend had paid a couple of thousand dollars to have the piece of jewelry customized and shipped from overseas for his ex; it had been been sitting in his cupboard since and he didn’t want to throw it away. Now, the woman grappled with what to do and wondered if she was being unreasonable by wishing he’d bought her a different engagement ring.

“I do see the practicality of it. He already has a ring anyway, and it’ll go to waste if he doesn’t use it. We could save the money for the new ring and use it on other more important things like our house instead. However, something in my heart just can’t get over the fact that the ring was originally made for someone else in mind. He assured me that she never wore it, but I just don’t want something that wasn’t made for me,” she wrote.

Reddit users who replied to her query were divided.

“Rings carry stories and history. If it’s not a story you want to carry around on your finger for the rest of your relationship, you are totally within your rights. Also, that ring was customized for another woman, not for you. Get another ring!” one person wrote.

Another person chimed in, writing, “If you like the ring and is suits you don’t let the history behind it stand in your way but if you are not sure about it, don’t feel bad about rejecting it.”

Overwhelmingly, people suggested she get creative by using the stones from the old ring and changing the setting to something she liked more. Others urged her to be a bit more honest with her boyfriend about what she wanted. The woman agreed with keeping things real, writing that she herself was “actually pretty thankful that he was very open and honest with me about the ring and his past relationship.” We’ll have to keep an eye on Reddit to see how he ends up proposing.

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