Although most couples walk down the aisle with high hopes, not all marriages last forever. Certain behaviors or attitudes can erode the relationship over time. For the most part, though, there are some pretty specific things that break a marriage the fastest, according to a divorce attorney.
Spending time with the significant other appears to be crucial. “Make time for your spouse, or someone else will,” says Zlatkus. If your schedule is packed, then there are some ways to make time for your partner when everyone is super busy, according to Bustle.
Sometimes it can be difficult to turn off your “parent voice” after spending several hours wrangling kids. But for the most part, it’s important to go into adult mode when communicating with your spouse. “Adults want — and deserve — to be treated as such,” says Zlatkus. “Pro tip: If you wouldn’t use that tone of voice with a colleague, don’t use it with your spouse.” Most adults want to feel like they have equal say in the relationship.
Those seemingly insignificant conversations about traffic or their favorite TV show really can matter. “Are you just hearing them, or really paying attention and engaging with your spouse when they talk to you?” says Zlatkus. “Little details about their day, their schedule, their goals, their wants — the little things make up the bulk of who we are.” Thankfully, there are some ways to become a better listener if you (like me) struggle with this particular skill from time to time, according to Elite Daily.
Most everyone needs a little help now and then. “Assuming your spouse is on the ball can translate to them feeling taken for granted,” says Zlatkus. If one partner does all the cooking, for instance, then the other one could offer to make dinner (or get take-out) a couple times a week. It’s a way of helping the other partner and offering them a break every now and then.
Complaints can be serious in a relationship. “If leaving your socks on the floor or forgetting to fill up the gas tank until you’re on E is driving your spouse absolutely bonkers, decide to make tidying or filling up a priority. Or if you and your spouse agreed that you would both work full-time after your children are in kindergarten and one spouse changes their mind, this has to be a negotiation, not a dictatorship,” says Zlatkus. “Not taking complaints seriously is this single factor brings more couples with young children into my office than any other.” It’s a lot of work, sure, but avoiding the things that can wreck a marriage may help you and your partner enjoy a lasting relationship.
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