The idea of star-crossed lovers running away from home to get hitched is a trope we’ve seen throughout history and entertainment time and time again. Although some couples know from the get-go that a huge wedding is a must, others may be drawn to a much more casual event with just their partner. If you and your SO are considering keeping your nuptials private and low key, being aware of the signs you should elope can help you make a final decision.
A concern many people have about forgoing a more traditional ceremony is that it could lead to friends and family feeling excluded from the event. According to NYC-based relationship expert and love coach Susan Winter, it’s totally possible to come to a compromise that works for everyone if going completely rogue just doesn’t feel right. “If your family insists upon a traditional celebration, encourage them to organize a reception,” Winter tells Elite Daily. “If you and your mate agree, allow your family to create a separate event that satisfies their needs. Elope and have your honeymoon the way you want, then, when the time is right, attend the celebration that satisfies your families’ needs. This way you both get what you want.” Here are the signs that eloping could work for you.
1. NEITHER OF YOU ARE TRADITIONAL.
“If you and your partner delight in the fact that you cut your own way and defy tradition, why would you want a traditional marriage ceremony?” asks Winter. “How you choose to create this special moment should be in alignment with who you are, and the values you hold.”
How you structure your wedding or nuptial exchange is totally your decision. Even though it can be tempting to succumb to the pressure of family and friends, your satisfaction is most important.
2. SPENDING MONEY ON A WEDDING FEELS LIKE A WASTE.
Let’s be real, getting married can get very expensive very fast. If money is tight or you’d just prefer not to drop your cash on a one-day event, eloping isn’t a bad idea.
“Eloping is the obvious choice for couples who’d rather spend their money on travel, a new home, or other joint goals,” explains Winter. “In cases such as this, there’s no need for a big, formal, and expensive event.”
3. IT’S YOUR SECOND MARRIAGE.
“Second and third marriages [feel like] ‘have been there, and done that’,” says Winter. “You had the pomp and circumstance of a formal wedding and reception already. No need for the tedium and headaches of planning, and the astronomical expenses. For you, this is simply the next logical step in your relationship and doesn’t require immense fanfare.”
Of course, if you or your partner still want to have a big event and have the resources to do so, just because you’ve had the experience before doesn’t mean you can’t have it again. However, if it feels redundant for you, that’s totally OK too. Ultimately, the most important thing to consider is what situation would make you and your partner feel the happiest and most fulfilled. So talk it over with bae, think about it on your own, and listen to your gut.