Valentine’s Day can be tricky to get right. You’ve got to pick the perfect gift, somehow snag a dinner reservation on one of the busiest nights of the year, and turn the romance up as high as it can go. And throughout it all, you’re facing tons of pressure and scrutiny from the outside world to make V-day absolutely perfect. It’s only to be expected, then, that all this effort will backfire on a pretty regular basis, leaving hearts broken, surprises ruined, and stomachs plagued with food poisoning.
Fortunately for the rest of us, many people who have absolutely, hilariously failed at Valentine’s Day have oh-so-generously shared their cringeworthy stories on social media. Here are 10 of the best (aka worst) ones on the Internet, guaranteed to ease some of your stress in the lead-up to V-day.
1. “Wife and I (fiancée at the time) got dinner, both got food poisoning, and spent the next day or two taking turns in the bathroom. Not quite romantic.” —Pixie_Grinder
2. “My worst Valentine’s Day story is when a dude dating my friend sent me a dozen red roses hoping she’d find out and break up with him so he didn’t have to break up with her. To make this worse because I know it sounds very high school. I was in my 20s, he was mid 30s. In case you’re wondering what happened, she flipped out on him and then me. He apologized to both of us. They stopped speaking to me, got engaged and later married.” —ellesep
3. “Came home dressed as a Hooters girl with hot wings, but they gave my husband horrible diarrhea and he ended up in the hospital for dehydration two days later. Sorry, babe.” —LaffItUpFzbl
4. “My worst Valentine’s is a group date to TACO BELL where the two other girls were on blind dates and my date was just broken up with and yet was the normal one. Worst 2 hrs of my life.” —TiffanyA_Davis
5. “‘I’m not interested in Valentine’s day, DO NOT GET ME ANYTHING, really, don’t.’ I believed her.” —TomasNavarro
6. “Boyfriend in high school got really upset when I didn’t get him anything for Valentine’s Day after we agreed we weren’t going to do gifts for Valentine’s Day. He surprised me with a diamond necklace and then cried because I didn’t secretly get him anything.” —AjaOya
7. “Last year the guy I was dating was planning to be out of town on Valentine’s Day for work, so I was teaching a 3 hours ceramics class. For the few days leading up to Vday, he’s dropping hints like he may fly in to see me to celebrate. Instead, he calls me during the 30 minute break in the middle of my ceramics class to break up with me to go back to his ex-girlfriend in a grand gesture because of the holiday. So last year I cried while teaching a ceramics class because I got dumped on Valentine’s Day.” —UrbanChicken21
8. “One Valentine’s Day, many, many moons ago with an old boyfriend, out for a Valentine’s dinner, had two martinis that wound up being a bit too strong. Got sick en route back to his place, almost threw up in his fancy car, managed to stay vertical long enough to clean up before passing out in bed. He spent the night gaming, eating the chocolate covered strawberries I made for the night. So I guess a fail on my part, while he had a great night.” —KikiMoon
9. “Probably the worst Valentine’s present I’ve ever genuinely bought someone was a dartboard. She said she wanted one so I assumed it was fine.” —mutablejoe
10. “In high school I went out for Valentine’s day with my then-boyfriend. We had been dating for almost a year, but this was the first time we ever really went anywhere (typical high school relationship I guess). So we got dinner, and right before we left we exchanged presents. I was going to a fine arts school at this point so I had made him something in class that I was really proud of and hid a gift card to a store he loved inside. He gave me one of those $5 stuffed animals from Walgreens and just kind of threw it at me, with no card or anything. After that we’re walking to the car, he’s taking up the entire sidewalk almost, so I’m trying to walk through the mushy grass (it had been raining) in heels. I fall in the mud, practically ruin my dress, and he laughs at me. The worst part is that he didn’t even take the present I worked so hard to make for him – he ‘accidentally’ left it at my house when he dropped me off. I still have it, too.”